Sunday, August 31, 2008

Embarrassed to Post

I come from a family that taught manners and courtesy, especially in the un-talked about areas of bodily functions. Apparently, my children have not grasped the concept of a topic being off-limits, or uncelebrated...

Rhet made a rasberry noise with his arm (thank you, Rhet) and the kids thought that was hilarious and wonderful. They then concocted an ENTIRE evening dedicated to the art of passing gas. It was so poignantly called the "Passing Gas Party". I was in my room for 5 whole minutes, and came out to see the living room covered in confetti, Happy Birthday signs, and streamers. The girls then proceeded to have games (all under the same topic). For example, one of the games was who could make a fake passing gas noise the loudest. I am rolling my eyes, enjoying time on the couch reading the Ensign (getting oh so much spirituality at the same time, I am sure) and using my great parenting skills of ignoring. Next, come out all types of percussion instruments. Drums, harmonicas, and keyboard were part of the next part of the party... the "Pooting Parade". Yet still, I was mastering the art of rolling my eyes and being unparticipatory. I moved myself and my magazine to my bedroom, as though the kids imaginations would be thwarted by my move, they bring in the kareoke machine with two mikes. One would announce the other and would accompany the lyrics with instruments. The lyrics would be all about passing gas and being happy. Then the other would announce and tell a scary story of a monster that passed gas really loud and stinky and the other child would dramatize with actions. I couldn't make it. I tried so hard. I lasted so long. I made the worst mistake a mom could make and now it is all over. All of my fussing, correcting, harsh looks, reminders, all "down the toilet". All because...

I laughed.

3 comments:

Amber Stuart said...

Man, I wish I could have been there. I caould have added much more to the agenda...ha-ha.

Tiffani Harris said...

I'm sorry but this is just hilarious! Next time you'll have to somehow secretly record it so you can share the party events with the rest of your family!

Lauren in GA said...

That is so funny! Brilliantly written, too!!

My kids think all manner of bodily functions are hilarious. Their father doesn't help much either. He will pass gas himself and blame it on everyone else. Sheesh.