Judgement...it will come back to get you!

So, Rhet and I were remembering the days before the joys of parenthood. We would cruise Walmart at midnight and look around at the parents that brought their screaming kids at that crazy hour to go grocery shopping. That marked the start of a long list of things that we would NEVER let happen when we were parents.

I am happy to announce, that no, we haven't brought our kids to Walmart at midnight. Unfortunatley, that is about the only thing from "the list" that I can say didn't happen...


Then: The children will have good manners when
strangers talk to them and tell them they
are cute, etc.
Now: They stare blankly like they don't understand. No hablo Ingles?


Then: In public, they will wear cute, non stained, matching clothes.
Now: In public, they will wear clothes of the right gender, stains ok, clothes should be
somewhat clean. Backwards, inside out, and unbuttoned are ok.




Then: In public, hair will be neat, combed, with darling bows and barrettes.
Now: Barrettes are nice to keep the hair from
getting food in it- but matching barettes do
not exist. If you barely comb the top layer, you
can keep the same style in for days and it looks like you might have brushed it recently. Make sure

you have at least 1/2 hour and strong detangler
when you are going to brush it all the way.


Then: Shoes on correct feet.
Now: You don't need shoes, we are just going to (fill in the blank with ANYTHING)

Then: Never take your whole litter with you when
you are going to public excurtions. (shopping for
groceries, clothes shopping, the mall) Get a babysitter.
If you have to bring them, make sure they are contained.
Now: What is a babysitter? What is clothes shopping? If I
put all the kids in the cart, I won't have room for the groceries. On the rare occasion that I had a babysitter, I'm not going to waste in on doing these things!




Then: No joint gender baths.
Now: HALLELUJAH!
They are taking a bath.













Then: No weapons (toy guns, swords, anything violent)
Now: Don't point it at each other. Ok, don't put it right in someone's face. Ok, don't hit with it. Everyone has to have a gun/sword before you start fighting.

Then: Children will not run around the house in diapers/underwear.
Now: No more "naked parties." You have to have your underwear or a diaper on.

Then: Kids will have educational things to play with. But they will put each thing away before getting another.
Now: "Hurry, kids, someone is coming over, throw everything in your rooms and shut the door." Can we throw the box away yet?










Then: We won't participate in activities that have a lot of germs in them (playlands where the kids have accidents/colds/cough all over)
Now: We will stay longer if you aren't the ones that have the accidents/colds/cough all over.









Then: I will never show my belly when it is nasty with lines, veins, and huge with ANOTHER one of those unkempt and uncared for kids.
Now: "Alexis, this line is from you. Daisy, these veins are from you." "Mom, who are these wrinkly things from?" "Mom, which one of us did that to your belly button?"