I love my job!

I was recently thinking what life would be like if Rhet and I switched places. He is such a great dad and I know he would do a good job with the kids. I am smart (well, used to be before the kids sucked away my brain in utero. I got a few shocked faces when someone saw I graduated summa cum laude from Florida State- now it is all just fuzzy up there), but am sure over time I could tackle his reports and schooling.

However, I think there would be a few hang-ups to this switch.
If Rhet were to take over the kids schooling and care:
*The kids would get fed... but it would be pancakes, cereal, or speghetti everynight.
*The kids would be dressed for church.... but hair would be in knots and they might be in their play clothes/dress-up dresses.
*The kids would have fun... but the house would be a wreck!
*The kids would enjoy creating and exploring... but their "formal" education and schedule would get slided for the idea that McDonald's playland is investigating space, gravity, how the body moves, and friction.

And if I were to take over his dental practice:
*The clients would get their teeth in... but I wouldn't take the precision and time to do all the "extra" steps necessary to make them look nice. Does it really matter if I leave the porcelain in the oven an extra 10 minutes? Wouldn't just one of the tools work just fine? If a tooth looks gross, lets just yank it and make a new, fresh pretty one. They might all look like Mr. Wilson's chicklets.
*The clients would get a nice experience (chatting) in the chair... but much would not get accomplished, because I wouldn't understand them with the instruments in their mouths (like Rhet can).
*The clients might get their teeth fixed... but if their mouths are gross, I would have a screwed up and twisted face during the entire process, with my arms outstrectched as far as they could go. Unlike, Rhet, who is all up in their grills.

What am I talking about?

I could NEVER do Rhet's job. He showed me some pictures and it can be the sickest, most unhygenic place I have ever seen. GIVE ME THE POOPY DIAPERS! GIVE ME THE SPILLED ORANGE JUICE! GIVE ME THE WHINING!

I love my job! I get breaks. I get naps. I get to as much time as I want for lunch. I get to color, do arts and crafts, do fun experiments. I get to talk on the phone and check the internet, with no retributions. I get to jump in the car and do errands without scheduling them in. I get to sing (without strange glances). I get to dance (without strange glances). I get to scream (without strange glances, just scared looks:). I get to watch (G-rated) movies in the middle of the day. I get to be the big boss. I get to be with people I LOVE to be with, and not people I am just assigned to. So, I'm so sorry, Rhet- I will never switch with you. I'll just let you borrow my job every now and then.
And just in case (in the unlikely event) that you reading this and are:
#1 a mom
#2 your husband is a dentist and
#3 you were thinking of switching occupations with him

Just let me give you a preview of what smiles you would get to see everyday...

And now see what smiles I get to see everyday...

Any questions?

Leave me a comment and tell me why you love YOUR job.

Judgement...it will come back to get you!

So, Rhet and I were remembering the days before the joys of parenthood. We would cruise Walmart at midnight and look around at the parents that brought their screaming kids at that crazy hour to go grocery shopping. That marked the start of a long list of things that we would NEVER let happen when we were parents.

I am happy to announce, that no, we haven't brought our kids to Walmart at midnight. Unfortunatley, that is about the only thing from "the list" that I can say didn't happen...


Then: The children will have good manners when
strangers talk to them and tell them they
are cute, etc.
Now: They stare blankly like they don't understand. No hablo Ingles?


Then: In public, they will wear cute, non stained, matching clothes.
Now: In public, they will wear clothes of the right gender, stains ok, clothes should be
somewhat clean. Backwards, inside out, and unbuttoned are ok.




Then: In public, hair will be neat, combed, with darling bows and barrettes.
Now: Barrettes are nice to keep the hair from
getting food in it- but matching barettes do
not exist. If you barely comb the top layer, you
can keep the same style in for days and it looks like you might have brushed it recently. Make sure

you have at least 1/2 hour and strong detangler
when you are going to brush it all the way.


Then: Shoes on correct feet.
Now: You don't need shoes, we are just going to (fill in the blank with ANYTHING)

Then: Never take your whole litter with you when
you are going to public excurtions. (shopping for
groceries, clothes shopping, the mall) Get a babysitter.
If you have to bring them, make sure they are contained.
Now: What is a babysitter? What is clothes shopping? If I
put all the kids in the cart, I won't have room for the groceries. On the rare occasion that I had a babysitter, I'm not going to waste in on doing these things!




Then: No joint gender baths.
Now: HALLELUJAH!
They are taking a bath.













Then: No weapons (toy guns, swords, anything violent)
Now: Don't point it at each other. Ok, don't put it right in someone's face. Ok, don't hit with it. Everyone has to have a gun/sword before you start fighting.

Then: Children will not run around the house in diapers/underwear.
Now: No more "naked parties." You have to have your underwear or a diaper on.

Then: Kids will have educational things to play with. But they will put each thing away before getting another.
Now: "Hurry, kids, someone is coming over, throw everything in your rooms and shut the door." Can we throw the box away yet?










Then: We won't participate in activities that have a lot of germs in them (playlands where the kids have accidents/colds/cough all over)
Now: We will stay longer if you aren't the ones that have the accidents/colds/cough all over.









Then: I will never show my belly when it is nasty with lines, veins, and huge with ANOTHER one of those unkempt and uncared for kids.
Now: "Alexis, this line is from you. Daisy, these veins are from you." "Mom, who are these wrinkly things from?" "Mom, which one of us did that to your belly button?"

Darn that 1st grade History

We are learning about the Ancient Egyptian Nomads and how they settled in Mesopotamia, and became a big empire. This entails teaching about Greek Mythology and the beliefs of the Egyptians. (Yes, I did check that I was teaching the right material for FIRST GRADE).

Well, my darling children had quite a few questions for me as we learned of the underworld, the god of the Nile, and the sun god. Here are a few that I remember:

1) Do they just believe in a lot of gods for different things but Heavenly Father is the main one?

2)Is Jesus one of the gods they believe in?

3) Why isn't Jesus married?

4) How are we Heavenly Father's children if He isn't married?

5) Why doesn't everyone believe in Jesus?

6) People believe in different things, but how can Jesus, Heavenly Father, and the Holy Ghost be the same person? Who do they think they (the Trinity) look like?

7) Why do people that go to different churches say "God" a lot, but we don't.

8) Is the Holy Ghost always going to be a spirit?

9) When is Jesus going to come down again?

10) If the whole world is going to be burned, then where will we sleep and what happens to all of our stuff in our homes?

11) Why doesn't Jesus just tell everyone that he is real like he did before?"

And the kicker...

12) So, everyone believes different things but we are the ones that are right?

It was wonderful to have this "teaching moment" to be able to answer some questions- but my goodness, they started to go a little deep and I think I got a little squirmy. Might have some philosophy majors in the works. They are just going to have to deal with their practical mom and her "need to know" attitude. Man, and I've been worried that they would ask how the baby comes out when it is done growing inside. Go figure!

What are YOU having for dinner?

So, I was thinking today of what we were going to eat for dinners for this week. There are many requirements that a dish must hold to make it to my list. One day, maybe after the baby is here and adjusted and I'm not tired, the variety will improve. But for now...


1. Can mostly be made sitting on a stool next to the island.
2. 30 minutes or less.
3. Preferably 15 minutes or less prep time.
4. Has to be made from basic ingredients that we have on hand (hamburger, chicken,beans,pasta,rice)
5. Helpful if there is at least one thing that Ben will eat (pasta, rice,no meat, nothing mixed together, no potatoes/vegies noticeable, can't have dairy- yes, including cheese)
6. Don't really like sandwiches.

It was getting hard to think of what we could eat that wasn't exactly the same as what we ate last week (or the one before)

So, here it is. Our meals from last week and this week. Comment and tell me what you remember eating for dinners last week. I'm hoping to make me feel better, not worse- and to get some new ideas. We'll see:)



*Speghetti with meat sauce
*cereal
*pancakes
*Subway
*French Dip sandwiches (super fast. Roast beef on rolls with aus jus dip)
*chicken cattitore with rice (family was not a fan-why did I bother?)
*Breakfast dinner (Pillsbury cinnamon rolls, eggs, hashbrowns, and cinnamon apples)
*cereal or PB and J
*homemade individual pizzas (great cause the kids make them all)

Baby Pictures

Make a Smilebox scrapbook

Summer Fun

Make a Smilebox scrapbook

School Memories from 2007-2008

Make a Smilebox scrapbook

Just complaining...move on to another post for your own good!

I remember when my friends were pregnant before I was. As much as I wanted to be supportive and empathetic... my goodness, is that ALL they could talk about? There are so many topics out there...politics, movies, books, relationships between mothers and daughters/siblings/spouses/in-laws, birth order and its effects, cooking with wheat, practical healthy lifestyle choices, environment versus genetics, the effects of alcohol/drugs on a family environment, African American misrepresentation in US history, feminine equality in the 20th century (ok, so I spent a lot of classes in psychology) and on and on.

I admit, I did a horrible job when I was pregnant with Alexis. It had taken two years to get pregnant with surgery and fertility drugs. How could I not talk about this exciting time in our lives? How could everyone else not want to hear the wonders of childbearing? I needed everyone to truly "get" the miracle that was happening every single day as fingernails were forming, organs were starting to work, and how she would respond to loud sounds. And MY interpretation of "getting" something means to say it over and over, until I see a change in the audience and they seem to be just as excited and mesmorized as I. (don't worry, a lot of my friends were in theatre and had no problem in their acting capabilities)

Well, now we are to our 4th full-term pregnancy. Things are a little different. I can no longer think of things to talk about besides how awful I feel and how each day is taking forrreevvvveerrr. I am no longer as amazed at the wonders and miracle of birth. Actually, I think I could make some changes to the process that could be a little more efficient and less restricting. For one, as you have more babies, your body should react less to the demands of carrying a fetus. The formula would go something like:

fetus x (number of kids + fetus)= energy level (measured in laps you could do during your pregnancy without breaking a sweat or breathing hard- in the last trimester)
So, a first time mom would have 1 x 1= 1 lap without sweating
BUT a mom of 10 would be 1 x 11=11 laps without sweating
Doesn't it make sense that a mom with other kids needs more energy and has much more to do?


Why would each baby need 9 months to develop? If the rest of your body falls apart and poofs out because it "already knows what to do," then the babies development should take that into consideration. (not to mention that you have other children to take care of that don't care if mom has contractions/no energy to play/or patience) Your body doesn't need Braxton Hicks, cramping, or swelling SOONER to prepare you for birth; your cervex, uterus, and pelvis are quite aware of their performance necessities and are basically in the right position and size from the moment you conceive anyway.
Another formula that would work well for my situation...

fetus x 9/ (number of kids + fetus)= months needed until birth
Ex. New mom (1 x 9)/1=9 months till birth
BUT Mom of 5 would be (1 x 9)/6= 1.5 months

These suggestions are merely from a technical and scientific viewpoint, of course. Rhet doesn't like to hear some of my intelligent corrections for evolution in the fear that he will have to repair the roof from lightening strikes headed my way.

And, since I don't want to write in my journal how unhealthy my psyche is right now in the fear that poor Colby might read it one day and know how much I complained while he was cooking in my oven... I get to write it here on my blog...with no worries that Rhet will ever read this (because it is way too long) or that any of my children will know my twisted thoughts (they scroll right to their own pictures)- and if you care enough to have gotten this far...then chances are you have already heard my ranting and it won't effect your opinion of me. Two final words...


Pregnancy STINKS!

Let's Go, Rhet!

I was thinking that if any of you had a few seconds to spare, write a comment to help me in an effort to CHEER ON RHET to get done with the bathroom. We are oh so close, but also at the point where all progress could halt because it IS almost done.
So, give him any cheers you know, and join me in a great cause-

Go-o-o-o
Go-o-o-o
Go Go Go
Go, Go!
Go, hey, hey, let's go, hey, hey LET'S GO, RHET!

I say a boom-chicka-Rhet
I say a boom-chicka-rocka-chicka-rocka-chicka-Rhet
Uh, huh, oh yeah, one more time,
Done with the bathroom style

Move it
Down to the bathroom
Go that way (clap, clap, clap)
Move it
Down to the bathroom
Go that way!

Here we go (stomp, stomp)
Let's Go Rhet!
Here we go (stomp, stomp)
Let's Go Rhet!

Who's the guy that's number 1?
I know, Rhet!
Who's the guy to get it done?
I know, Rhet!
Number 1, Get it done...
Righ-igh-igh-ight NOW!!!!

(I was wondering when I would ever get to use my 7 years of cheerleading again, being a SAHM. I am so glad I put in those 12+ hours a week so that they could now be utilized!)

Embarrassed to Post

I come from a family that taught manners and courtesy, especially in the un-talked about areas of bodily functions. Apparently, my children have not grasped the concept of a topic being off-limits, or uncelebrated...

Rhet made a rasberry noise with his arm (thank you, Rhet) and the kids thought that was hilarious and wonderful. They then concocted an ENTIRE evening dedicated to the art of passing gas. It was so poignantly called the "Passing Gas Party". I was in my room for 5 whole minutes, and came out to see the living room covered in confetti, Happy Birthday signs, and streamers. The girls then proceeded to have games (all under the same topic). For example, one of the games was who could make a fake passing gas noise the loudest. I am rolling my eyes, enjoying time on the couch reading the Ensign (getting oh so much spirituality at the same time, I am sure) and using my great parenting skills of ignoring. Next, come out all types of percussion instruments. Drums, harmonicas, and keyboard were part of the next part of the party... the "Pooting Parade". Yet still, I was mastering the art of rolling my eyes and being unparticipatory. I moved myself and my magazine to my bedroom, as though the kids imaginations would be thwarted by my move, they bring in the kareoke machine with two mikes. One would announce the other and would accompany the lyrics with instruments. The lyrics would be all about passing gas and being happy. Then the other would announce and tell a scary story of a monster that passed gas really loud and stinky and the other child would dramatize with actions. I couldn't make it. I tried so hard. I lasted so long. I made the worst mistake a mom could make and now it is all over. All of my fussing, correcting, harsh looks, reminders, all "down the toilet". All because...

I laughed.

How to have a Princess Party

1. Invite all the princesses around the land to the royal castle.

Alexis, Daisy, Rylen, Morgan, Lenna, Megan, Lindsay, Kaitlyn, and...Ben

2. Organize the centers.

A. Princess Face: make-up, hair supplies, hair color spray

B. Royal Spa: cucumbers for eyes, wet cloths for face, soft music, massaging tools

C. Nail Salon: polish, stickers for nails, foot bath

D. Princess Past-times: beads, string for jewelry making (never got to)

E. Dinner Party: Crystal wear, pink cloth napkins, golden tablecloth, goblets, tea pots, pink flower center piece, place settings with after dinner mints, pink soda, fruit, petite cookies, a castle cake and...pizza.

3. Add some games

A. Princess and the Pea- Who is the REAL princess and who is telling the queen a story?

If the pea is found under your pillow, you may wear the tiarra and pick a card for the "fake

princesses" to perform. Things a REAL princess would NEVER do! (Burp, scream really

loud, eat a marshmellow in one bite, run around the house crazy, etc)

C. Kiss the frog-pucker up and put some bright lipstick on. Whoever can get the closest to the frog's mouth is quite the princess.

D. Princess Trivia- get your little bells ready. If you know the answer, ring your bell. Be the first to summon the queen with a correct answer and she will reward you with a lovely gift (nail polish, lipgloss, ring pop)

E. Who knows Princess Alexis best?- pick a partner and go across the board to reach Alexis 6th birthday. Answer a question about her correctly and you get to move 2 ahead. Be careful of the things she doesn't like (rest time, lightening, getting her hair brushed) or you will have to move back. (Never got to)

4. And finally, make sure you tell a bedtime story for the almost sleep-over...

PRINCESS ALEXIS AND THE OGRE (cliff notes version)

Once there was a beautiful princess named Alexis. She loved to keep all her treasures in her special box. Everytime she had a present, she would take her jewels and put them safely away in her treasure box, for she knew an ugly ogre was greedy and wanted all the treasure in the land. She hid her box under the bed, and then moved it to the closet. Finally, she knew exactly where to hide it where the ogre would NEVER look...in her underwear drawer. That ogre came looking many times to find her treasure, but could never figure out where her hiding place was. One day when he was mad that once again he couldn't find her treasure, he stomped out of her room. The maidens and cooks heard a noise, and looked to see who it was. Terrified at seeing an ogre in the castle, they threw the water pitcher all over him. The ogre hated water and rushed back into the princess' room. He didn't know what to do, but couldn't stand the water all over him. Grumbling and mumbling he went to the closet and tried to find the least pink and lacey dress he could and put it on. Again grumbling and mumbling, he had to find some underwear. He opened the panty drawer, and to his delight found the treasure box he had been searching so long for. He picked it up and ran out the castle. [At which point, our very own ogre scared ALL of us and screamed, running with a "treasure box" out into the front yard.]

Once the princess found out what happened, she asked the queen what she could do to get her treasure back. The only thing that could stop the ogre was a special potion made of turtle's blood, pig eyeballs, syrup, and salt. The problem was that the ogre could smell this potion from two miles away. The princess thought and thought, and came up with a plan. She put the potion in a balloon so that the ogre wouldn't be able to smell it and rushed to get the ogre. [The girls then grabbed water balloons and ran in the front yard to peg the ogre. None of the princesses were too keen on throwing, so luckily the queen tagged the ogre and he dropped all the treasures] One of Alexis' presents from the family was...underwear.

The princesses had a BLAST! I thought 3 1/2 hours would be over-kill, but we actually didn't have time for everything. It was the talk of the town at church and little miss Alexis was glowing. Granted, I had a Relief Society event the next morning that I never made it to, the queen was asleep in her bed till the late morning!

I have three girls?

Things you don't want to hear your son say- that I heard last week...
1. "Where is my fork, mama? Its hiding in my dress!"
2. "Not like pirate costume. Not like ninja costume. Only like Cinderella!"
3. "Mama- where is Cinderella dress. Can't find it."
4. "Not Ben, Mama, I Cinderella."
5. "Oh no, Mama, my dress dirty."
6. "Why?!?! Why can't I wear dress to Wal-mart?"

FYI: The Cinderella dress has been confiscated and permanately placed in the "laundry". Rhet has been working 65+ hour work weeks this past month. Apparently, a male figure is a vital influence in the home. No worries, though- yesterday, Ben shot me, hit me, wrestled me, and threw every item that was small and hard. Still all boy!

How to have a Daisy-dog birthday party

Send out invitations to all the 5 year-old dog lovers around-

Brian, Emmie, Jake, Jordan, Faith, Eliza, Megan, Madison, Noah, Daisy, Alexis, Benjamin, Melody, and Brooklyn
Helpers: Nana and Aunt Autumn

Center #1: Adopt your dog. Pick your favorite stuffed dog, name it, and complete your adoption certificate. Put on ears, tail, and face paint to match.

Center #2: Have the veternarian give shots, band-aid, and over-all check your new pet. The vet will give your dog a blanket to keep it warm. Make sure to complete safety measures for your new animal by making his collar/dog tags.

Center #3: Make your dog a pretty carrier to put all of his supplies in. Groom your pet with ribbons, bows, and combing.

Center #4: Feed you and your pet, dog style.

#5: Add some games

#6: Send the kids back to their dog houses with their adoption certificate, dog carrier, blanket, collar, doggy dish, comb, and puppy chow... and take a nice CAT NAP!!

(And get ready for a princess party in two weeks for Daisy-dog's sister.)

Time-out

I told the kids if they didn't go to time-out straight-a-way, they would have to be in the laundry room. Apparently, they are smarter than me, because they purposely misbehaved all at once, to be able to go into the laundry room together. Luckily, my sense of humor was high this day, and I whipped out the video camera, instead of my vocal chords.

Rhet's birthday

Happy Birthday, Rhet. You are a wonderful, amazing, extraordinary husband and I hope you know how much you mean to us! 30 ain't so bad, is it?